Rhinelander Getaway: Unbeatable Deals at Holiday Inn Express & Suites!
Rhinelander Getaway: Holiday Inn Express & Suites - My Honest, Messy, and Totally Worth-It Review
Okay, folks, buckle up. I'm about to spill the beans on Holiday Inn Express & Suites in Rhinelander, Wisconsin. I just got back, and let me tell you, it's a mixed bag – which, let's be real, is how life usually is, right? Forget the slick brochure promises; here's the real deal, warts and all.
First Impression: Not Bad, But… (And the Parking!)
Pulling up, the exterior isn't going to win any design awards. It's… functional. Clean enough, but nothing that screams "Wow!" The parking situation? Free, which is a HUGE win. But, be warned on busy weekends, it can get a little Hunger Games-y for a spot.
(Opinionated Rant Incoming:) I'm not saying it's a dealbreaker, but seriously, why is it always the most important things that trip you up in the beginning? I was tired, cranky, a little bit sunburnt and a little bit drunk, all I wanted was to lie down and suddenly I'm swerving a giant SUV whilst trying to work out where to park, the kind of thing that starts a holiday badly.
The Room: Clean, Comfy, and Almost Perfect.
My room? Pretty standard Holiday Inn Express fare. Spotlessly clean, which is a massive relief these days. The "Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!"? Yep, it worked, and it worked well, which is always a pleasant surprise. "Internet access – wireless" was also spot on, so I guess they're really serious about your ability to connect! The "Desk" was nice to have for a little work, and the "Laptop workspace" saved my back from hunching for hours! The "Extra long bed" was a godsend, because I'm a restless sleeper. Okay, let’s be honest, not really, I am a restless sleeper but the bed was comfortable, so yay.
The "Room sanitization opt-out available"? Seriously? I like the sanitised version thanks.
Now, a little nitpick: the "Blackout curtains" were good, but not perfect. You're gonna see a sliver of light. It's not a big deal, but if you're a vampire, you're gonna have some issues. The "Air conditioning" worked like a dream, which was crucial because, Wisconsin summers can get steamy.
Accessibility:
Okay, I didn't specifically need it, but I noticed a lot of thought went into "Facilities for disabled guests," and that's important to me. The "Elevator" was easy to find and use. I saw "Smoke alarms", and "Fire extinguisher" in the hallways and that made me feel safe.
The Good Stuff: Food, Fun, and Feeling Pampered
Let's talk about the fun stuff. First off, "Breakfast [buffet]". It's a Holiday Inn Express, so don't expect Michelin-star worthy, but the "Breakfast [buffet]". It's the usual suspects: eggs, sausage, cereal, waffles (the waffle station is serious business!), juice, coffee. It hits the spot. The "Coffee/tea in restaurant" was also a life-saver, I need that in the morning. There also seemed to be some interesting "Alternative meal arrangement" options, which I didn't ask about, but now I'm a little sad I didn't.
The Pool and Relaxation - My Favorite Part!
The "Swimming pool [outdoor]"? Yes, please! Especially because the whole place is "Family/child friendly". I didn't manage to make it to the "Sauna" or the "Spa," but just knowing they're there makes me feel fancy. Okay, maybe it's more like "potential for fancy," but still. "Pool with view" isn't quite accurate, its more of a "pool with slightly-less-crappy-view". And you're not gonna get a "Body wrap" or a "Body scrub."
The Less-Than-Perfect Bits
Okay, honesty time. I didn't see any "Asian cuisine in restaurant". I kinda wanted a spring roll. I also didn't manage to find the "Bottle of water" anywhere, not even the "Free bottled water" listed in the room amenities.
And Now, The Safety Stuff (Because, You Know, 2024)
Major props to the hotel for safety. I saw "Hand sanitizer" everywhere. The staff were all wearing masks and were super nice. They had "Physical distancing of at least 1 meter" in place in the breakfast area. "Sanitized kitchen and tableware items," for the win! Felt safe and secure, which is huge. And the "Rooms sanitized between stays" is reassuring.
Service & Convenience: What's on Offer?
"Cashless payment service"? Smart. Made checking in and out a breeze. The "Laundry service" and "Dry cleaning" sounds useful, but I didn't use them (because, vacation!). "Daily housekeeping" was on point. They had "Luggage storage", too.
"Business facilities" were there (I think), but I was on vacation. If you do need to get some work done, they got you covered.
What About "Things to do"?
Rhinelander is a great place! There's loads "Things to do"! Explore the Northwoods, take a hike, see the Hodag (the town's mythical beast for the uninitiated!). If you are interested in "Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Indoor venue for special events, Outdoor venue for special events, Seminars," the Holiday Inn has you covered.
For the Kids, and other family perks
"Family/child friendly" is an understatement. They have it all, not only that, the staff are great with kids and seemed to enjoy their company. Be prepared for splashing, yelling, and maybe some questionable behaviour. But the place is made for it, and everyone is happy. I saw some people use a babysitting service or the kids meals, but I wasn't particularly looking in that direction.
The Verdict: Should You Book?
Short answer: YES.
Here's the deal, literally!
Unbeatable Deal Alert!
- 3 nights for the price of 2! That's right, save big on your Rhinelander adventure!
- Free breakfast every morning! Fuel your adventures with our delicious [buffet]!
- Complimentary unlimited Internet access.
- Free parking on site!
Why Book This Deal?
- Comfort and Convenience: Clean rooms, comfy beds, and all the amenities you need.
- Family-Friendly Fun: Pool, and a welcoming atmosphere that's perfect for families.
- Location, Location, Location! Close to all the best attractions Rhinelander has to offer.
- Peace of Mind: Extra safety precautions and a dedicated team.
Book now and experience the best of Rhinelander! Don't miss out - this deal won't last!
In conclusion:
Holiday Inn Express & Suites Rhinelander isn't perfect. It's a bit rough around the edges in a few places. But it's clean, comfortable, safe, convenient, and a great base for exploring the area. Plus, the staff is awesome. And that, my friends, is what makes a good stay a great stay.
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Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to embark on the most un-organized adventure ever planned at the Holiday Inn Express & Suites Rhinelander, by the way, that "By IHG" bit always makes me feel like I should be buying into a timeshare. Let's dive in!
Rhinelander Ramble: A Messy Itinerary (Featuring Occasional Meltdowns and Pizza):
Day 1: Arrival & Existential Dread in the Northwoods
- 1:00 PM: Arrival & Check-In – The Preponderance of Beige. Okay, first impressions: This hotel is…beige. Like, really beige. Everything. Carpets, walls, the breakfast buffet bar…even the air seems to have absorbed a certain… muted beige-ness. But hey, at least the lobby feels vaguely clean, and the front desk clerk, bless her heart, seemed genuinely happy to see me, which is more than I can say for my own reflection after that eight-hour drive. Spent far too long staring at the "pool is closed" sign. Why, oh why, did they tease me with that promise?
- 2:00 PM: Room Reconnaissance & Contemplation of Life Choices. My room is… fine. Standard hotel room fare. Two queen beds, a desk that looks suspiciously like it might be slightly sticky (I promise I'll wipe it down later!), and a TV that probably only has channels I don't care to watch. Right now, I'm overwhelmed by the vastness of nothing to do. I also noticed there's a distinct smell of "clean" that is not actually clean, and the bathroom mirror reflects a tired face that screams, "Did I really drive all this way for…this?" Answer: Yes, you did.
- 3:00 PM: Quest for Caffeine & Local Exploration (Sort Of). Okay, emergency. Caffeine levels are dangerously low, and the in-room coffee situation looks like it'll produce something that resembles sludge, not coffee. So, I stumble down to the lobby to get that 24/7 coffee, turns out it tastes like burnt tires. I had to drive around for a solid hour just to find…an empty cafe. It was disheartening, and I felt a tiny bit lost in the woods, but hey, I'm an adult.
- 5:00 PM: Deep Thoughts & Room Isolation. I made it through the day. I am now questioning all my life choices. Should I turn on the TV? Should I read? Should I eat pizza? This is the central question of my life
- 7:00 PM: Pizza Time. (Because pizza is the answer to everything). Found myself a genuinely decent local place that delivers, and they are the sweetest people ever. That pizza was bliss.
Day 2: Nature, Regret, and the Ongoing Search for Meaning
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast Meltdown (and I'm not talking about the eggs!). The promised "hot breakfast" is… well, it is there. The scrambled eggs look vaguely yellow, the sausage is probably just brown meat, and the waffles are surprisingly…waffle-y. But, the fruit: it's sad. Really sad. Like, bruised bananas, grapes that look like they went through a war, and… is that a strawberry that's seen better centuries? I grab some coffee. (It's slightly better than yesterday's sludge.)
- 9:00 AM: A Walk in the Woods (Attempted). I try to make it into the Northwoods. I drive and drive and get hopelessly lost. Why is there no cell service anywhere? I have to go all the way back to the hotel.
- 12:00 PM: Reflection & Refueling on the Worst Salad Ever. Back at the hotel, I decide to have lunch. It's a decent salad. I am grateful for the sustenance.
- 2:00 PM: The Great Library Quest (or, "Where's the Wi-Fi?") This seemed like a great activity to do. Free Wi-fi, what's not to adore? I spent hours there, reading. Oh, the joy when a book is good.
- 5:00 PM: Hotel Pool (Attempt #2/Attempt #20?). I looked at the door, and then…the sign "pool is closed." Seriously?!
- 7:00 PM: Pizza Time, Again. Don't judge. It's a tough life, and sometimes you just need a slice of pepperoni and an entire box of cheesy breadsticks.
Day 3: Departure & the Promise of Reconnection
- 7:00 AM: Breakfast & Existential Dread…again. You guessed it: the breakfast buffet. Same sad fruit, same questionable eggs. But hey, at least I know what to expect, eh?
- 8:00 AM: Packing & Contemplation. Packing. The dreaded act of taking down a whole life lived.
- 9:00 AM: Check-Out & Farewell to Beige. I say goodbye to the hotel. I swear, I will never forget the beige.
- 10:00 AM: Drive Home & Processing. I hit the road, already planning my next adventure… or maybe just a long nap.
Important Notes & Ramblings:
- The Pool Situation: I'm still highly suspicious. Why is the pool always closed? Is it a metaphor for my life? Am I destined to spend my days on the fringes of watery bliss?
- The WiFi: Was…not so great. But who am I to complain?
- Rhinelander: A Place of Paradoxes. It's quiet. It's peaceful. It's also filled with a certain melancholic charm. It's a place that forces you to confront your own solitude and your own boredom, in equal measure. I don't know why I'm drawn to these places, but here I am.
- The Emotional Rollercoaster: This itinerary is less "schedule" and more "stream of consciousness." I'm a complete mess, but a happy mess.
- Pizza is Essential: Seriously, it's a life-saver.
So, there you have it. My ridiculously disorganized, emotionally charged, and pizza-fueled journey through Rhinelander. Remember, the best adventures are the ones that don't go according to plan. Now, I'm off to find another slice of pizza. Wish me luck!
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Rhinelander Getaway: Holiday Inn Express & Suites - FAQs (Because Let's Be Real, We All Have Questions)
Okay, so, is this really a "deal"? Like, *actually* a deal? I've seen deals... and then I've seen "deals."
Alright, let's get real. "Deal" is a loaded word, right? Like, "diet" or "project." At the Holiday Inn Express & Suites in Rhinelander… yeah, it *can* be a deal. Depends on the time of year. Summer's gonna be pricier, obvs. But I snagged a room in, like, late October a few years back. It was *glorious*. Crisp air, the colors were insane, and the rate? Let's just say I felt comfortable with a hefty stack of pizza boxes on the bed. (Hey, I was *stress-eating* a bit at the time, okay? Don't judge.)
Check the website. Seriously. Don't just take my word for it. Look for those "last-minute deals" or "mid-week specials." Hotels, they hate having empty rooms. My advice: be flexible with your dates, and stalk those booking sites like a hawk. Oh, and *always* compare prices. Don't just settle for the first thing you see, unless you're like me when I'm hangry. Then, I might just click "book" without a second thought. It's a character flaw, I know.
Bottom line: Check. Compare. And pray you get a good rate. And if you do? Get the pizza.
What's the breakfast situation like? Because I'm a hangry monster before 9 AM. (And possibly after, too.)
The breakfast. Oh, sweet, sweet breakfast. Okay, so, a Holiday Inn Express breakfast is... well, it's a Holiday Inn Express breakfast. You know the drill. The pancake machine (I'm calling it a 'machine' because it's not exactly *cooking* the pancakes, is it?). The sad, pre-packaged pastries. The questionable-looking eggs. But, and this is a big but… it's *free*.
Look, I am no food critic. I am just someone who wants something in my stomach within like, five minutes of waking up. And, honestly, the convenience is key. I once managed to down a whole stack of pancakes from the machine, even though they tasted vaguely of… nothing. I mean, it filled The Void. The coffee is generally passable. The fruit is… well, it's probably been sitting out for a while, but it's still better than starving. Don't expect Michelin-star quality, but you'll survive. And hey, sometimes they have those little breakfast sandwiches. Those are pretty good. Grab two (or three) for the road.
In short: It gets the job done. And hey, at least you're not cooking. Unless, of course, you are me, and you end up smuggling some of those muffins back to your room for late-night snacking. *Don't tell*.
The photos online always look so… perfect. Is the place ACTUALLY clean? Because I’m a germaphobe (kinda).
Okay, the cleanliness question. That's a good one! Look, hotels are weird, right? They're usually *mostly* clean, but there's always a lingering question, isn't there? Like, who was in this room before me?! And what did they do?! Did they, perhaps, leave a mountain of empty chip bags and watch terrible reality TV all night? (I may or may not have done that once myself. Don't judge.)
I've stayed at the Rhinelander Holiday Inn Express a few times now. It's never been *filthy*. But, and this is the honest part, it's not like a sterile operating room, either. Overall, it's been pretty good. The rooms are usually nice and tidy. The bathrooms are generally sparkling. The beds? Comfy enough. I mean, I didn’t find any rogue hairs or anything alarming. However, there's always that little bit of... hotel-ness. If you're *super* germ-phobic, maybe bring your own cleaning wipes. I always wipe down the remote control. That's a pro-tip, by the way. Remotes are the devil's playground for germs.
So, the answer is: It's probably cleaner than your apartment (no offense!). But if you need hospital-grade cleanliness, pack some extra Lysol. Personally, I’m content with ‘mostly clean’. It keeps my anxieties at bay- most of the time.
Is there a pool? Because my vacation happiness hinges on the presence of chlorinated water.
Pool! YES! Okay, this is generally a good thing. Pretty sure it *does* have a pool. I *think* it's inside and generally acceptable! I *believe* there's a hot tub too. (Though, if I recall it was a bit small.)
Look, pools are a weird experience. You’re surrounded by strangers in swimsuits, there’s often the faint smell of chlorine, and if you're not careful, you might end up accidentally inhaling some of that chlorinated air. But sometimes, you just want to float. Or maybe the kids want to splash. Or maybe you just want to escape from the utter boredom of a long car ride. Then, a pool is a necessity. Check reviews. Always. I once stayed at a hotel with a pool that was so cold, I thought I'd gotten frostbite. It was a traumatic experience.
In short: Check the online reviews. Pictures are usually helpful. If you're not a fan of cold water, get a temperature reading (or don’t be me and assume). A potentially decent pool is better than no pool. And if it's awful, you're only stuck for a short time.
What's the location like? Is it close to anything interesting? Because I don’t want to drive for hours to get to, well, anything.
Location! Okay, Rhinelander is pretty cool. It's kinda... a small town. Which is *exactly* what you want in Wisconsin, right? The Holiday Inn Express is usually located in a pretty convenient spot! Not in the middle of nowhere, but not *right* downtown either. It's usually a short drive to some of the main attractions, like the Hodag Park. (Look, I did the Hodag thing. It was... something. I'm still not sure if I believe in it, but whatever.)
The best thing is the easy access to the outdoors. You're in the Northwoods! Hike, bike, canoe, kayak… the usual Wisconsin stuff. I once rented a kayak with a friend and we nearly capsized. It was hilarious. (Mostly. At the time, I was terrified.) Rhinelander isn't exactly throbbing with nightlife. But if you're looking for a slower pace, a quieter vibe, and access to nature? Then you've come to the right place. Get a map! Or, you know, use your phone. Whatever works.
The Verdict: It's a perfectly acceptable location. Not the best ever, but not the worst. And it offers access to the very gorgeous and beautiful of the Northwoods.
