Shakespeare's Secret Escape: Mercure Stratford-upon-Avon Hotel
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into Shakespeare's Secret Escape: The Mercure Stratford-upon-Avon Hotel. Forget polished brochures; you're getting the REAL deal, warts and all. I am NOT a robot. I am a human and this is going to be a messy, beautiful, ridiculously opinionated review, and I'm going to try to convince you to book a stay. Let's go!
(SEO Keywords are interspersed throughout, because, well, gotta play the game!):
First Impressions & Accessibility (and the Great Elevator Mystery):
Right, so you roll up. Shakespeare's Secret Escape: Mercure Stratford-upon-Avon Hotel. Sounds posh, doesn't it? Well, the Mercure chain is generally reliable. The exterior is fine, nothing mind-blowing, but perfectly acceptable. Now, accessibility. This is SUPER important to me because, frankly, I'm getting older and creakier. Wheelchair accessible, yes! Plenty of ramps and elevators. However, the elevator… Okay, picture this: you're trying to haul your luggage, a child, and a rogue Yorkshire Terrier to your room, and the elevator decides to be temperamental. One minute it's open, the next it's trapped in a vortex of existential dread. It’s a minor niggle BUT it's worth noting. They do have elevator, facilities for disabled guests, and generally try to make it easy, so points for effort! CCTV in common areas adds a feeling of security.
The Room: Comfort & Convenience (and My Obsession With Blackout Curtains)
Available in all rooms: Air conditioning. THANK GOD. Especially during the peak season. Air conditioning is a must. You're getting air conditioning, alarm clock, bathrobes (yes! Love me a bathrobe!), bathroom phone (for emergencies… and ordering room service, obviously), bathtub, blackout curtains… OH, GOD THE BLACKOUT CURTAINS. Blackout curtains: This is crucial for me. I need complete darkness to sleep. They're good in this place, thankfully. Complimentary tea and coffee- you know, the basics. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! – amazing. Daily housekeeping = another big plus. Non-smoking rooms are a given. In-room safe box is there too. Satellite/cable channels for some late-night telly…
The room itself? Clean. Generally, the rooms sanitized between stays policy is reassuring. The bed was comfy, and that’s what matters. Internet access – wireless is quick, easy peezy. Internet access – LAN is available too, if you're old skool like me. I had a room with a window that opens, so fresh air! High floor rooms are usually quieter. In terms of additional toilet, extra long bed and interconnecting room(s) available – they are there.
Food, Glorious Food (And My Love/Hate Relationship with Buffets)
Okay, food. This is where things get SERIOUS. Restaurants on-site, naturally. Breakfast [buffet] is offered. I, personally, have a love-hate relationship with buffets. On the one hand, unlimited bacon! On the other hand, the sheer chaos of people jostling for scrambled eggs. The Mercure's buffet is decent. Not life-altering, but reliable. You get the usual: Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, coffee/tea in restaurant, salad in the restaurant, desserts in restaurant - they are available. Breakfast takeaway service is great for the early risers. Alternative meal arrangement if needed is available. The restaurant also serves international cuisine. A la carte in restaurant options are there too, if that's your speed.
I tried the room service [24-hour]. I’m usually too lazy to go out and get dressed for dinner, but I was so hungry, So I ordered a burger. It was… fine. Better than the average, but don't expect Michelin-star quality. The poolside bar is also a nice touch for a pre-dinner drink or a quick snack.
Relaxation & Things to Do (Finding My Inner Zen… Briefly):
Spa/sauna time! Spa. Yes, please. I love a good spa. Especially after the travel and the buffet! They have a sauna, a steamroom, a massage. I indulged in a massage, and it was glorious. Honestly, the masseuse worked wonders on my stressed-out shoulders. You can get a body scrub and body wrap if you’re feeling fancy. Swimming pool [outdoor] is a plus. There's a fitness center if you are feeling guilty about that breakfast, lol. It's got a swimming pool. Great for a dip, but not for serious swimming (more like a splash zone).
Cleanliness & Safety (Because, Well, 2024… and Beyond!):
The cleanliness and safety game is strong here. Anti-viral cleaning products are in play. They appear to take daily disinfection in common areas seriously. Rooms sanitized between stays. Hand sanitizer everywhere. Staff are trained in safety protocol. Plenty of individually-wrapped food options. They seem to be trying. Safe dining setup is offered and I never felt at risk.
Services & Conveniences (The Little Things That Matter):
Concierge. Daily housekeeping – good. Dry cleaning, laundry service, ironing service – all available. Luggage storage is a lifesaver. Currency exchange is handy. Cash withdrawal is available. Doctor/nurse on call if needed. Front desk [24-hour] – always a bonus. Contactless check-in/out to limit contact.
Getting Around (Because Stratford-upon-Avon Isn’t Exactly Manhattan):
Car park [free of charge]. Huge plus. Having car park [on-site] is also convenient. Taxi service is readily available. Bicycle parking is another plus.
For the Kids (Because Family Holidays Are… an Experience):
Family/child friendly. Babysitting service. Kids meal options. They cater for the littl'uns. Seems like a good choice, if you’re dragging the whole clan.
SEO Bonus: The Big Recommendation and Why This Hotel Gets My Honest, Slightly Disorganized Seal of Approval
So, would I recommend Shakespeare's Secret Escape: Mercure Stratford-upon-Avon Hotel? Yes. It’s not perfect. The elevator is… let’s say characterful. The room service, while convenient, isn't exactly haute cuisine. BUT. It’s a solid, reliable hotel. It's clean. The staff are friendly (and I always base my opinions on staff!), the location is great (you're smack-dab in the heart of Shakespeare country!), and the spa is worth the price of admission alone. Especially after the rigors of the buffet!
Now for the SALES PITCH: Your Shakespeare's Secret Escape Awaits!
Tired of the same old boring hotel stays? Craving a getaway that's both comfortable and steeped in history? Look no further! At Shakespeare's Secret Escape at Mercure Stratford-upon-Avon, you'll be transported to the heart of the Bard's birthplace. Explore the iconic sites, then return to the comfort of our well-appointed rooms, ensuring you can rest easy.
Here’s your offer:
- Book a stay of 2 nights or more and get 20% off your total bill!
- Complimentary Full English Breakfast each morning. Fill your fuel from our Breakfast buffet, as mentioned above!
- Free Wi-Fi to stay connected. Post your experience on your social media platforms!
- Plus, exclusive access to our spa facilities: Pamper yourself with a massage, relax in the sauna, or take a dip in the swimming pool.
Why choose Shakespeare's Secret Escape?
- Prime Location: Immerse yourself in the beauty of Stratford-upon-Avon, just steps away from Shakespeare's birthplace and other historical landmarks.
- Exceptional Comfort: Enjoy the comfort of our well-appointed rooms, complete with modern amenities.
- Unforgettable Experiences: From the culinary delights of our restaurant to the relaxing spa, we offer experiences that cater to every taste.
- Free Parking: One less expense to worry about!
Don't miss out on this limited-time opportunity to experience the magic of Stratford-upon-Avon!
Book your stay at Shakespeare's Secret Escape: Mercure Stratford-upon-Avon Hotel now and create memories that will last a lifetime! [Link to Booking Here - or tell them what the offer is, like a code]
And there you have it. The unvarnished truth. Book it. Don't book it. It's your call. But at least you're armed with the real information now! Now, if you'll excuse me, I’m off to find another massage… and perhaps
Bibione Dream Apartment: 3 Rooms, Modern, & Bright! (Beahost Rentals)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your pristine, pre-packaged travel itinerary. This is real life. And my life, as it unfolds in the hallowed halls of the Mercure Stratford Upon Avon Shakespeare Hotel, is a glorious, messy, occasionally disastrous, always entertaining tapestry. Get ready to laugh, maybe cringe a little, and definitely question my sanity. Here we go:
The Stratford-upon-Avon Debacle: A Chronicle of Chaos (and Possibly, Genius)
Day 1: Arrival and the Shakespearean Letdown
- 14:00 – Mercure Arrival, tentatively optimistic: Okay, so the drive from… well, let's just say "away"… was a marathon. Jammed into a tiny rental car that clearly wasn't designed for my suitcase, my spirit was a little bruised (and my back was definitely protesting). But hey! Stratford-upon-Avon! Shakespeare! Romantic visions of quill pens and dramatic pronouncements filled my head. The Mercure seemed promising, all Tudor beams and "olde worlde" charm. Checked in, a bit of a kerfuffle over the "special request" (read: the one without the noisy air vent). Settled in. Everything feels… fine.
- 15:00 - The Room's "Charm" Revealed: It started innocently enough. Nice view, actually. Then I noticed the faded floral wallpaper. It screamed "your Grandma’s attic," but in the grand old world way. And the light… oh god, the lighting. It's like living permanently in a sepia-toned dream. My emotional reaction: a mixture of slightly scared, and a whole heap of "oh, what the hell?".
- 16:00 - The Quest for a Proper Pub: Google lied. Repeatedly. Found a chain pub, "The Dirty Duck" (not its real name, and much, much cleaner), and attempted to get a pint. And then… and then… the food arrived. My burger resembled something the cat coughed up. The fries, meanwhile, were so soggy I think they were still alive. My reaction? A mournful stare at the burger, followed by an aggressive swipe of my fork and a "Well, at least the beer's cold."
- 19:00 – The RSC – Or the “Slightly Overhyped Theater” Oh, the grand Shakespearean theater! I had my tickets, I'd even polished my pre-theater "cultured" air. What I wasn't prepared for was the sheer length of "Hamlet." Three hours! I’m not sure if the acting was too sophisticated for me or if I just needed a nap, but 2 hours in, I started nodding aggressively. The interval was a highlight. (The gin and tonic was a godsend).
- 22:00 - Post-Theater Musing: Back at the hotel. The bed is comfy. Actually, it's really comfy. Maybe that's the best part of this trip. The room is still sepia-toned. I’ve accepted it. This is my life now. Shakespeare, the RSC, comfy beds, and questionable burgers. Where do I start?
Day 2: Shakespeare's Birthplace and the Questionable Souvenir Shop
- 9:00 - Breakfast: A Glorious Start (for once): Praise be! The hotel breakfast buffet was surprisingly good. Full English, proper coffee, even some fruit that didn't look like it had been rescued from a landfill. Renewed hope!
- 10:00 - Shakespeare's Birthplace: A Tourist Trap with a Heart: Okay, so, it's touristy. Overcrowded. But… it's Shakespeare's house! Actually walked through a very cramped cottage and then spent way, way too long looking at old books and letters. The sheer amount of drama in his life is actually quite inspiring. The emotional reaction? A fleeting moment of genuine awe, quickly followed by the realization that I needed to pee.
- 11:30 - The Souvenir Shop Shocker: The most terrifying experience of my life. I had to escape with my life. I saw a Shakespeare-themed thong. A Shakespeare-themed thong! My brain briefly considered the possibility of buying it as a joke. I fled screaming.
- 12:00 - The River Avon Ramble: A Moment of Peace (ish): The river walk! The swans! The scenery! The only problem? The tiny, aggressive geese that thought my shoelaces were a personal attack. Made me think, "these darn birds would have been good in an all-out war." This is also where I dropped my phone into the river. Luckily, I managed to save it. Mostly.
- 14:00 - Lunch at a Quaint Cafe: The Great Sandwich Fiasco: Decided to be adventurous. Found a cute cafe with a sign saying "Best Sandwiches in Stratford!" Ordered a "gourmet" sandwich. It arrived looking like a small, sad pile of bread. Again. Not the best sandwich in Stratford, or anything. I asked for something stronger.
- 16:00 - Anne Hathaway's Cottage: The Love Story That Almost Made Me Cry: Ah, Anne Hathaway. Actually, her house was incredibly cute. And the story of their romance… a little less cute, a whole lot more complex. I wandered through the gardens, and was hit with a flash of “wow…”. This place is so important. I got a bit sentimental.
- 18:00 - Pre-Dinner Drink Panic: Found a cozy pub, ordered a pint, and spent a solid hour trying not to spill it. My clumsiness is a constant source of amusement (and embarrassment). Started brainstorming how to do a "Shakespearean slam poetry about clumsiness" at the open mic night.
- 20:00 - Dinner (Somewhere Less Burger-y): Ended up at a lovely Italian place. Pasta, wine (a real wine!), and conversation that wasn't about how terrible the burger was. Victory! Even thought about the possibility of writing a whole play about our table.
- 22:00 - The Hotel Whisperings: Back in the sepia-toned room. More comfy bed. Ready to write the "clumsy poetry" tomorrow!
Day 3: The Grand Finale of Mediocrity (with a splash of triumph)
- 9:00 - Breakfast…again: Okay, so, the breakfast buffet is pretty good. Trying to be healthy with the fruit and yogurt. Failing miserably.
- 10:00 - The Holy Trinity Church & Shakespeare's Grave: A Final Farewell: The church! Big church! Pretty. I did not, in fact, "have a good day" as the lady at the shop told me. But I was sad leaving.
- 12:00 - Gift Shopping. The Final Round. Bought a book, some tea, and a postcard. Tried to avoid the thong store. Success!
- 13:00 - The Escape! Leaving the hotel. The drive home.
- 14:00 - The Epilogue: Overall, Stratford-upon-Avon was a beautiful mess. Not the romantic escape of my dreams, more of a mildly chaotic adventure involving questionable food, a lot of walking, and a whole lot of Shakespeare. But it was mine. And isn't that what matters? I wouldn't change a thing. Okay, maybe I wouldn't eat the burger. But other than that, bring on the next adventure.
Just remember, life is messy. Embrace the chaos. And always, always, pack extra underwear. You never know when a Shakespeare-themed thong might tempt you.
French Lick's Hidden Gem: Valley Inn & Suites - Unforgettable Stay!
So... just what *is* this "Shakespeare's Secret Escape" thing, then? Sounds a bit... dramatic.
Alright, alright, settle down. It's basically a themed stay at the Mercure. They plaster the whole thing in Shakespeare, from the rooms down to (allegedly) the teabags. The "Secret Escape" bit? Well, that's the immersive experience. You're supposedly solving puzzles, uncovering clues, and generally living out your own little Shakespearean mystery. I'd mentally prepared for a gentle frolic through a quaint English town. Turns out... it's quite a bit more...
Right, immersive experience... What's the quality like? Is it a laugh, or a cringe-fest? Be honest. (Please.)
Okay, truth time. It's...complex. The puzzles *themselves* are actually pretty clever. Some are genuinely satisfying to crack, like that time I finally figured out the cipher on the "hidden" scroll in the library (which, full disclosure, took me about an hour and desperately asking a helpful woman at the check in desk!). But... the *delivery*? Hoo boy. Think enthusiastic amateur dramatics meets…well, a budget. Sometimes the actors are brilliant, channeling their inner thespians with gusto. Other times...well, let's just say I had a close encounter with a very enthusiastic player who may have forgotten his lines and improvised a bit *too* much. It's a mixed bag, but the enthusiasm is definitely there, even when the execution falters.
Okay, I'm picturing a slightly dusty, slightly enthusiastic pub quiz. What's the *actual* hotel like, apart from the Shakespeare overload?
The hotel itself… it's a Mercure. You know, perfectly functional, nothing groundbreaking. The rooms are comfortable enough, though the decor screamed "tourist hotel". And the view? Well, mine looked out onto… a car park. (Sigh). Don't expect luxury; expect a solid, dependable basecamp for your Shakespearean adventures. The staff were generally lovely and helpful – they seemed used to the slightly bewildered guests. Honestly, I was pretty shattered by the second clue, but a hot shower and a decent bed are the ultimate victory, right?
The Food? Tell me about the food. Because I'm always thinking about food.
Ah, yes. Food. This is where things get… interesting. The breakfast buffet was fine, perfectly standard. The dinner, however… I opted for the "Romeo & Juliet" platter (because, when in Stratford…). It tasted like it maybe *had* been made in a Shakespearean kitchen – a little overcooked, a little heavy-handed with the spices, and a touch of… well, it wasn't *bad*, but it wasn't exactly Michelin star material, either. But you’re there for the experience. You *embrace* the slightly questionable cuisine as part of the fun. You gotta! I'm still not entirely sure what everything was. There was…a lot of meat. I think. Maybe. I *think* I survived.
Okay, let's talk about the immersive experience again. What even *happens*? Walk me through a day. What are the clues like? How do you even *start*?
Right, okay. So, you check in, and you're immediately plunged into it. They give you a "welcome pack" - a pamphlet of clues, a map, a cryptic prophecy, and a bunch of stuff that *feels* important but initially makes zero sense. My first reaction? Mild panic. Then I found out I have another person with me who had previously done this, and that helped. You wander around the hotel, solving puzzles, talking to actors (some of whom are in character *all the time* - bless them!), and trying to unravel the mystery. One clue led me to a hidden compartment in the library (which, by the way, is just a corner of the bar). Another involved deciphering a series of riddles hidden in the bar’s cocktail menu. Seriously. Cocktails. It's all quite theatrical, and you definitely feel like you're part of a play. Until the last few puzzles, where you desperately need a decent person who can help you.
Sound a bit... overwhelming. Is it actually fun, or mostly just confusing?
Honestly? It's both. It *is* confusing. At times, I felt utterly lost, like I'd wandered into a particularly elaborate game of Cluedo. There were moments I wanted to scream, and moments I giggled like a child. But… the sense of accomplishment when you finally crack a puzzle? That's pure gold. And the sheer absurdity of it all? That's part of the charm. Look, it’s not perfect. But if you can embrace the chaos and the slightly dodgy acting and the occasional logistical hiccup, then absolutely, it's fun. I'd go back. Maybe. With a really, *really* strong coffee, and a good sense of humour. And a friend this time.
Let's double down on the experience: What was the single *weirdest* or most memorable moment? Spill the tea!
Okay, you want weird? Here we go. There was this *one* actor, playing a… well, let’s call him a “mysterious figure.” And he seemed to have a *very* strong interest in my…uh… ability to recite Shakespearean sonnets. (Which is, frankly, *non-existent*). He cornered me in the hallway, and started quoting lines from *Twelfth Night* at me. Then he demanded I *respond*! He kept saying, "Come, mortal, speak the words!" Honestly, I’m pretty sure I stammered something about the weather. He then proceeded to dramatically wring his hands and declare that my inability to answer correctly was “a blight upon the land.” He then disappeared – poof! – after saying the land was fine. It was… surreal. I’m still slightly unsure if it was part of the game or if he'd just had a *very* long day. But the memory, the sheer *bizarreness* of it all, that's what I’ll remember most – the wringing of the hands! The demand of poetry! The weather comment! It was completely bonkers, utterly Shakespearean, and utterly unforgettable. It’s a memory I will treasure (and occasionally recount with a weary sigh and a shake of the head) for years to come.
Is it kid-friendly? My kids love Shakespeare (yeah right!), or do I need a babysitter?
Hmm. "Kid-friendly"... That's tricky. There are definitely moments that might be enjoyable for older kids, the puzzles and the sense of adventure and perhaps even enjoying the mystery, and maybe a quick glance through some Shakespeare. But the immersion is geared towards grown-ups. Also, some of the themes could beStay Scouter
