Escape to Paradise: Victorville's NEW Corral Motel Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Victorville's NEW Corral Motel Awaits! - A Hot Mess Review (But Hopefully, In a Good Way)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the swirling vortex that is the NEW Corral Motel in Victorville. Forget those perfectly polished, corporate-speak reviews…this is gonna be raw, unfiltered, and possibly riddled with typos. Consider yourselves warned!
First things first: Accessibility. They say they have facilities for disabled guests, and that they claim to be wheelchair accessible. I’m not in a wheelchair, so I can’t personally vouch for wheelchair accessibility but I’d suggest giving them a very direct call before booking. Make sure every little detail is checked out. That goes for the elevator too, which I hope actually works. Getting stuck in a rickety old elevator is NOT my idea of paradise.
Internet access is listed as “available in all rooms,” which is music to my millennial ears. Thank god for Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! I'd be lost without it. Gotta keep up with the 'gram, you know? They also mention Internet [LAN], for those of you who still rock the wired setup. Hey, no judgment here. And speaking of technology they also offer Wi-Fi for special events. This seems like a no-brainer in 2024 but hey I'm not complaining and they boast Internet services. They have Audio-visual equipment for special events, which is great if you're hosting a convention of… I don't know…competitive toenail painters or something. It's a little unclear, but it sounds useful.
Cleanliness and Safety: Now, this is where things get a little complicated…especially with all the current stuff going on in the world. They tout Anti-viral cleaning products. Good. They have Daily disinfection in common areas. Excellent! Rooms sanitized between stays is a HUGE plus. And they even offer a Room sanitization opt-out available. That makes me think, "Hey, maybe I can breathe easy here!" They're also bragging about Professional-grade sanitizing services, and I'm hoping that they are following through. Hygiene certification, Staff trained in safety protocol…all good signs. Plus, they're doing the Hand sanitizer thing and some Individually-wrapped food options. The safety protocols, and the steps taken, are really impressive.
They have the basic safety stuff sorted with a First aid kit, Fire extinguisher, Safety/security feature, Smoke alarms, CCTV in common areas. Plus, they have Security [24-hour]. That should mean you can sleep soundly, though I'm always a bit paranoid about the noise from those darned exterior corridors. Speaking of, I always feel a bit exposed with the Exterior corridor. It's more "motel-y," and less "hotel-y" in the feeling.
Dining, drinking, and snacking: This is where things get interesting… or, you know, maybe basic. They have a Bar, a Coffee shop, and they will hook you up with a Bottle of water. They got a snack bar and room service, including a 24-hour room service. They serve a Breakfast [buffet], but also offer Breakfast in room and Breakfast takeaway service, should you want to be even more antisocial. And they have a Poolside bar, which does sound promising, but I have no idea how good they are.
Restaurants? Plural? Now we’re talking! They list Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant… and they also have Western cuisine in restaurant. It's a little unclear, but if the food's good, I'm there. The A la carte in restaurant feels a little more sophisticated, which is a plus. They serve Coffee/tea in restaurant and include both Coffee shop and Coffee/tea in restaurant. I'd like to try the Happy hour.
Services and conveniences: Whew, okay. These sound like the things that make a stay truly bearable. They offer Air conditioning in public area, Air conditioning, which is a MUST in Victorville. They have Air conditioning in public area which is even better. They also have Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping (daily housekeeping is a Godsend), Doorman, Dry cleaning, and Elevator again. They have Facilities for disabled guests and Food delivery.
They also offer Meetings, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meeting stationery, and a Projector/LED display for presenting your quarterly report on Competitive Toenail Painting. They have a Gift/souvenir shop, which could be tragically fun or tragically awful. They seem to cover all the basics.
For the kids: They have Babysitting service, which is, obviously, hugely helpful. This is also a Family/child friendly destination. They provide Kids meal!
Getting Around: They have Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, and Car park [free of charge]. They also have a Car park [on-site]. They also have Taxi service.
Available in all rooms: They pack in a load of amenities, like Additional toilet, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, and Complimentary tea. They include Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, and High floor, In-room safe box. They have Linens, a Mini bar, a Mirror, and of course, your own Private bathroom. They got all the necessities covered, from Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, to a Seating area, that's Separate shower/bathtub. You'll find a Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Sofa, and Soundproofing, which is important. Plus you get standard stuff like Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, and Wi-Fi [free], and a Window that opens.
Things to do, ways to relax…and how to feel like a king or queen
Get ready for a sensory overload!
Spas and Wellness: They really seem to be hitting the full pampering trifecta! They bring their A-game with a Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, and a Steamroom. All this is a great option to try and relax. It's good to focus on some self care, so why not? You can also try the Body scrub, and Body wrap! They also provide a Fitness center, which is great for you health nuts.
Now, for the unvarnished truth…
Look, is the Corral Motel going to be the Ritz-Carlton? Probably not. But based on the information, it seems like they are trying to be a solid, safe, and convenient option. The key will be the execution. Do they actually deliver on all these promises? When I go to the pool, will it actually have a view? Will the breakfast really be a buffet of amazingness?
The Offer: Your Escape Awaits!
So, here's the deal. I'm cautiously optimistic about the Corral Motel. It could be a hidden gem, a hilarious disaster, or something in between. But I'm feeling adventurous, and the promise of some serious "me time" is calling my name.
Book your stay at the Corral Motel in Paradise, Victorville, and enjoy:
- Free Wi-Fi – Because, duh.
- Clean, Sanitized Rooms - Safety First!
- Delicious Dining options - From buffets to something a la carte, give it a try!
- All the Comforts you need - A comfortable bed, tv, or access to the pool.
Book now and get 10% off your first stay! Use code "VICTORVILLEESCAPE" at checkout.
Listen, life's too short for boring hotels. Go for it. I'm taking the plunge. Maybe I'll see you there! Who knows, we can compare notes over a cup of (hopefully good) coffee. Wish me luck!
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Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to embark on the wild ride that is… my trip to the New Corral Motel in Victorville, California. Yeah, I know, glamorous. But hey, every adventure starts somewhere, right? And this one… well, this one promises to be memorable. (Cue the dramatic music, even though I’m in a goddamn motel.)
Day 1: Victorville Vortex (and, you know, Arrival)
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at LAX. Ugh, LAX. The human zoo. The air smells perpetually of desperation and stale coffee. Managed to survive the TSA – miracle of miracles – and snagged my rental car. A goddamn Corolla, but hey, it has AC. And I need that AC, because…
- 2:30 PM: Traffic. Dear sweet Jesus, the traffic. It’s soul-crushing, it’s a slow-motion car wreck of patience and sanity. I'm pretty sure I aged five years in the first hour of this trek. All I can do is listen to endless podcasts and repeat, "This is fine, this is fine…"
- 4:00 PM: Finally escape the asphalt purgatory and hit the open road… into the Mojave Desert. The landscape is… well, beige. Miles and miles of beige. It’s like the world ran out of colors.
- 5:00 PM: Arrive at the New Corral Motel. Okay, first impressions. Let’s just say the "new" part is… optimistic. It's seen better days, let's put it that way. The sign looks like it was designed by a drunk cowboy in 1972. The air smells faintly of… something indefinable but not exactly sanitary. (Note to self: Pack Lysol.)
- 5:15 PM: Check-in. Sweet Mabel, the woman at the front desk looks like she’s seen a ghost – or maybe just a whole lot of weary travelers. She barely mumbles before thrusting a key at me. Efficiency! (Or maybe she's just completely over it.)
- 5:30 PM: The room. Okay. The room. It’s… functional. The bedspread has a floral pattern that screams "Grandma's house in the 80s." The TV is tiny and probably pre-HD. There's a suspicious stain on the carpet, but I'm too tired to care. This is what they call "authentic" – right? Yeah, let's go with that.
- 6:00 PM: Cracking open a beer I bought from the sketchy gas station. It tastes… vaguely metallic. Sitting on the bed and watching the sun set over the desert. The sky is actually gorgeous, all fiery oranges and purples, and I can almost – almost – forget the state of the room.
- 7:00 PM: Decide to find dinner. Victorville, here I come!
- 7:30 PM: Dinner at… a diner. Because, of course. The food is… filling. The waitress is named "Betty" and looks about a million years old. She has seen some things, I can tell you that much. The burger tastes suspiciously like the processed kind, but, you know, whatever. I'm starving. And Betty brings me a free piece of pie. Score.
- 9:00 PM: Back at the motel. Trying to watch TV but the signal is practically nonexistent. Give up and start reading a book.
- 10:00 PM: Lights out. Praying I don’t get bedbugs. Or worse. (Side note: Bring a flashlight. And maybe a hazmat suit.)
Day 2: Desert Dreams (and, Mostly, Mild Discomfort)
- 8:00 AM: Wake up. Surprisingly, I’m still alive. And I didn't get bedbugs. Victory!
- 8:30 AM: Coffee and a sad-looking continental breakfast from the "lobby." The coffee tastes like dishwater, but caffeine is caffeine, dammit.
- 9:00 AM: Decide to explore the area. Maybe there's something interesting to see, like, in the middle of freaking nowhere.
- 9:30 AM: Drive around. See a lot of desert. A lot of beige. A lot of… emptiness. I'm officially starting to question my life choices.
- 10:00 AM: Find a slightly less depressing gas station for snacks. Buy a bag of chips. And some more water. Dehydration is a very real concern.
- 11:00 AM - 1:00 PM: The Highlight of my adventure: The California Route 66 Museum! Actually, for a cheesy roadside attraction, it was pretty cool. Vintage cars, dusty memorabilia, an old diner setup… I even took a photo with a cardboard cutout of Marilyn Monroe. Don't judge me, okay?
- 1:30 PM: Lunch at… okay, I'm sensing a pattern here… a fast-food place. Craving for something simple. Craving some fast food.
- 2:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Back at the motel. Staring at the walls, trying to figure out how I ended up in Victorville. Feeling slightly existential. Thinking about the universe. Mostly bored.
- 6:30 PM: Dinner, again, at a familiar place. Wondering what the local nightlife is. What's there even be?
- 8:00 PM: Take a walk around the motel. Chat with a fellow traveler. They just drove from Texas. They're also wondering why they decided to stop in Victorville. Bond over the shared misery.
- 9:00 PM: Back to the room. Try to read again. Fall asleep. Maybe a good night's rest.
Day 3: Escape from Victorville! (FINALLY)
- 7:00 AM: Wake up. So, so ready to leave.
- 7:30 AM: Pack. Toss everything into my bag. Make sure I haven't forgotten anything.
- 8:00 AM: Check-out. Say goodbye to Mabel (who barely acknowledges me this time).
- 8:30 AM: Hit the road. Heading towards… anywhere that isn’t Victorville. Freedom at last!
- (And of course, the unavoidable) 9:00 AM - onward: Make a pit stop at a random roadside attraction for a final piece of the desert.
Post-Victorville Musings:
Wow. Victorville. What can I say? It wasn't the idyllic vacation I'd envisioned. But it was… an experience. It was gritty. It was a little depressing. It was… undeniably real. Did I have a good time? Probably not. Will I ever go back? Absolutely not. But will I remember it? You bet your sweet bippy I will.
The New Corral Motel? Well, it could use some work. But hey, at least the AC worked (most of the time). And the free pie? A tiny, unexpected ray of sunshine in a beige desert landscape.
Now, where am I going next? Something with a little more… pizzazz, I hope. (and maybe a slightly better bed.) Until next time, stay adventurous (but maybe skip Victorville).
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So, The Corral Motel... Victorville? Really? Why?
What were the rooms like? Were they... habitable?
That pool... the pictures were... optimistic, weren't they?
How was the service? Were the staff friendly? (Or at least, functional?)
Did they actually offer breakfast? And if so, was it edible?
Was the Wi-Fi any good? Because, you know, the modern essentials...
Okay, so the Corral wasn't exactly the Ritz. But was it at least... convenient?
So, bottom line: Would you stay there again? Honestly?
